Ponderings

Repetitive tasks, although mind numbing always provide a good opportunity to think and plan. They provide you with an opportunity to turn off your brain and focus it on something for awhile. I do some of my best thinking while driving. Often while driving down the freeway belting out the lyrics to whatever song I am listening to at the time I will contemplate what I am doing, where I want my life to go, what steps I will take to start a career or how develop more meaningful relationships.

The other day while kayaking I spent the better part of an hour thinking about kayaking across Lake Huron to raise money for coastal conservation. I thought about the training I would need to do, the people I would need to get involved, how I would raise funds and involve the community. For the most part this one was just wild speculation, aside from the actual paddling I lack many of the skills required to make such a venture possible. Although if someone would be willing to do all the planning and organizing and behind the scenes stuff I would be willing to train to do the actual paddle.

Another thing I frequently ponder about is my desire to work for a Christian conservation group called A Rocha. I previously spent a summer interning there and loved the work and what the organization did. However their regular employees fundraise their wages much the same as missionaries.With my large student loans and limited networking abilities I am not sure that would go over well. Also I would have to be certain that my skills were actually required by their organization. I have actually spent entire days going over scenarios and thinking of ways to make it work. Could I get a part-time job so that my fundraising needs wouldn't be so much? Could I stay in my home area and do work for A Rocha here, perhaps partnering with local organization. I often find myself contemplating and thinking.... maybe someday.....

Other things I regularly ponder are things such as :

• my living situation
• my relationships with friends, and my lack of romantic relationships
• where, when and if to apply to grad school- potential advisors and schools
• my family life
• random academicy/ current events issues that get me riled up and thinking (often these turn into blog posts, stay tuned I am working on a few right now)

Before I send out a resume for any job I often do alot of pondering. What are the employers looking for in a potential employee? Do I have the right skills for the job? Do I want the job? Where is the job and what will I be doing? Where will I live or go to church?  Often the background thinking required before I even start my cover-letter or resumé can paralyze me into not applying for a potential position.

Thinking and pondering can be good- a good way to make decisions, way pros and cons etc. However when the pondering becomes paralyzing that is when you need to take a step forward and remember to be a person of action. Thinking of exercising and dieting does not help you loose weight if you don't actually follow through. Similarly I need to learn to not just think about certain things but to take some tentative steps to see if some of my dreams can actually become reality.