I grew up in an awesome family. My Mom is an elementary school teacher. Everyone ought to have mad respect for elementary school teachers because they have a tough job and work hard, they only get paid for about a 1/4 of what they do but they believe in what they are doing and do it with a smile. My Dad used to work night shifts at the feed mill until he took over my grandparent's farm. This schedule allowed my Dad to stay at home during the day.
My Dad was the one who babysat other teacher's kids. (okay so before my Dad switched to night shifts he worked days and another teacher's spouse babysat us, but my sister's and I were the kids who would cry and cling when our parent's brought us to the babysitters, this was part of the reason why Dad switched to night shifts.) My Dad was the Dad who made my breakfast and lunch. My Dad was the Dad who was always the chaperone on field trips. My Dad was the Dad who did my hair everyday. My Dad was the Dad who got called "Mr. Mom."
My Dad didn't like being called "Mr. Mom." He saw this term as a kind of gender stereotyping. Father's have an equal responsibility in the role of raising their children as mother's do. Who gets them ready for school, makes their lunch, takes them to and from events, and does their hair should be a decision based on available time and skill. So you shouldn't call him a "Mr. Mom" anymore than you should call the average housewife a "Mrs. Dad."
Using the term "Stay-at-Home-Dad" isn't exactly right either because it is used to differentiate from a parent who has a career outside the house. The so called "Leave-the-Home-parent" seems less involved in the day to day goings on of the home. Although my Dad was home during the day, he did have a career outside of the house. Also just because my mom had a career which kept her occupied during the day didn't mean she was any less involved in the day to day goings on of the house.
Whether it was vacuum cleaner salesmen calling and asking for the "Woman of the House," to which my Dad would reply, "speaking." Or television commercials that always portrayed females cleaning the house, packing lunches etc. I grew up hearing my Dad's good humoured "rants" on the subject and as a result became very good at recognizing gender biases and sexual stereotyping. Hence if I am a feminist it is my father's fault.
However I wouldn't go so far as to say I really am a feminist. Feminism as we see it today has gone a lot farther than just seeking equality. In some cases feminists push beyond equality to a kind of female chauvinism. In other cases feminists seem to confuse equality with being exactly the same. These feminists need to spend more time in math class so they can realize that equal doesn't mean identical, equations have two sides which often look very different but in the end are equal. So maybe I'm not entirely a feminist but I do think equality is an important thing, and like my father I find gender stereotypes obnoxious.
So going back to what you should call my father... He isn't a "Mr. Mom" or a "Stay-at-Home-Dad" he is just a Dad, like my Mom is just a Mom. Two equal sides of a brilliant equation called parenting, and though they might have balanced their equation differently than others I think the end result speaks for itself.
<3 Love you Mom and Dad! <3
No comments:
Post a Comment