Team Lift

Recently I bought a kitchen cart for my kitchen. I had seen one in a local store for a reasonable price and  had been considering the purchase for awhile. A lack of counter space and cupboard space finally sent me back to the store. I purchased the item and the nice people at the store helped me put the large heavy package into my vehicle. I then drove home eager to assemble my new purchase. It wasn't until I was sitting in the parking lot of my apartment that I realized something. I live on the second floor. There is no elevator in my building. And that package is heavy!

No problem I thought. I am a strong independent woman. I can get this package up and into my apartment. No problem.

After a little grunting, ingenuity, and a precarious balancing of said package on a railing while I attempted for a third time to open the door to my floor, I finally got the package into my apartment.

I then opened it and began to separate the pieces to assemble.
Being a wise person I looked to the instructions. I am not a complete fool, to avoid frustration always read the instructions.
The first instruction: "Two people are required to assemble this item"

Okay.... So maybe not all the instructions are important right??

I proceeded to assemble the cart. Several hours later I was successful! The cart was assembled. The shelves held together. I had counter space. Hurray!!

I began to pick up the garbage and packaging. It was then that I noticed a sign on the cardboard box:

 

"Pfft!" I thought. I am a strong independent woman. Look I got it here and up 2 flights of stairs all by myself. I assembled the cart without any hollering or yelling (just some music: Bastille, and a pumpkin spice latte.) My confidence soared. "Who needs a team?!?" I thought, "I am woman, hear me roar!" I joked as I put away my screwdriver a.k.a. butter-knife .

The next morning I woke up to bruises on my arms and sore shoulders. Later that afternoon I found that the shelf of my new cart kept collapsing. Who needs a team? I DO!

Perhaps I was able to complete things on my own, but I ended up sore and bruised in the process. I sense of independence is good, but I am not an island. 

Last week I was preparing my Sunday School lesson for my class. We were talking about the importance of Christian community. Their memory verse was 

Ecclesiastes 4:12

New International Version (NIV)

¹² Though one may be overpowered,
    two can defend themselves.
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.

Hmmm.... looks like this is a lesson I haven't quite learned yet. 

P.S. The collapsing shelf was later fixed with sticky tack. It works excellent now. 

What else do you expect from a girl who uses a butter knife as a screwdriver?!? 

For all you music lovers here is some Bastille for your listening enjoyment:

 

A Chemist's Candy Conundrum

Unsuspecting chemist attempting taffy making

Because of my background in chemistry I normally am not very intimidated by anything in the kitchen. I like to think that if I can synthesize complex organic molecules in the lab it shouldn't be too hard to do whatever is needed in the kitchen. And so when I decided to try making saltwater taffy in preparation for leading a group of seventh graders in doing the same I didn't think much of it. I watched an instructional video, read the recipe, gathered my ingredients and dove in.

 I soon found out that making taffy is tough and I know the old saying is that a poor work(wo)man blames her tools but honestly it would have helped if I had a candy thermometer that could read the temperature accurately. My first batch appeared to be going well until I had the candy out and started pulling it. With my first pull I knew something must be wrong. I know pulling taffy is tough but I only managed about 5 pulls before I was done.

The result was a rock hard candy that had to be cut with a chopping knife rather than a pair of scissors. The candies themselves do not taste bad, although they taste more like caramels then the orange flavour they are supposed to be. If I were to market these candies I would probably give them a "sermon-long" guarantee, they seriously last a looong time in your mouth. 

Disappointing rock hard results

 With a little bit of investigating I found that my candy thermometer was approx 8 C off in reading the temperature. Not good when an exact temperature was needed.

Warning: contents of pan are approx 8 C hotter than they appear

So like any good scientist I delved into some research and read a bunch of peer reviewed journals (aka candymaking and recipe blogs.) I soon determined that the faulty temperature was probably the main culprit for the too hard candy. Also if I needed to quadruple the amount of flavouring I used if I wanted to actually taste the flavouring.

It being only 9:30 pm I figured I had time for a second go. So I gathered my ingredients and set out armed with my improved knowledge. My mixture boiled.... and boiled... and all the sane members of my family went to bed (so sadly no more pictures.)  Finally I thought I had the correct temperature and took my concoction off the stove. I added food colouring and flavour and poured some out to test the consistency. I soon found out that this batch was too cool. So I put it back on the stove and reheated.... and repeated that process several times before I finally decided I might have it right. By now I had several burns on my hands from inadvertently grabbing the metal thermometer (ouch!) I poured the mixture out and waited hopefully. But alas the sugar molecules in the taffy were mocking my labcoat and as I greased up my hands to pull the taffy I soon found out I still had not heated the candy enough as the would be taffy dripped down my arm and turned into an oozy sticky (but delicious!) mess.

Figuring I couldn't make it any worse I plopped it in a container and stuck it in the microwave for 45seconds and poured out the result once again. After some cooling time I once again greased up my now burnt and blistered hands and made an attempt to pull the taffy. I still think the taffy is too soft but by now I was well into the next day and rather tired of this taffy so I stretched it out and cut it up. Not being a huge candylover I am not sure what the correct taste or texture of saltwater taffy is. I do know that with a little bit of refrigeration and a whole lot of icing sugar my taffy manages to maintain a shape. As for the taste it mostly tastes like butter, salt and icing sugar with a hint of orange flavour. For lack of a better example I am going to just go ahead and say that is how it's supposed to turn out until someone with more candy knowledge corrects me.

 (I figure I have a few hours to enjoy my success until they wake up.)

Wrong Number Karen

The Holly Saga continues, sponsored in part tonight by her "dear friend" Karen.

In case you haven't heard, the person who previously had my cell # was named Holly.
In the past I have been privileged to meet several of her "friends" including several late night drunk guys, and a British relative.

Tonight I met her "dear friend" Karen via text message. This is how it transpired:

Karen: Get off ur phone and pay attention to ur numbers. ;) (I am assuming she was referring to lottery numbers???)
Me: ? Who is this? Do you have the wrong number?
Karen: As if. Its karen. Lmfao!
Me: I dont think I know a Karen, who do you think I am?
Karen: Hahahahhahaha
Me: Seriously, i think you have the wrong # but hope you have a good day anyway!
Karen: Holly! Look at kat!
Me: This isn't Holly, it is someone called ShariAnn, but this must be her old # because I get calls for her all the time even though it hasn't been her # for over a year now.
Karen: Ok, sorry. Hav a good nite.
Me: no prob, you too.

I kinda feel sorry for Karen. Clearly she thought she was good friends with Holly, apparently not. Hope she had a good night anyways, and maybe next time when she sees Holly she will tell her to tell her friends when she gets a new number.

Adventures of a Data Monkey

Some aspects of my job are very repetitive. Like this week for example. I was on loan to another program in the building to help them finish a time sensitive research project. We needed to take a variety of measurements from a bunch of tree seedlings that had been exposed to a variety of environmental conditions. This involved measuring and recording ad nauseum.

I was the recorder.

I heard numbers.

I wrote down numbers.

Since we finished faster than anticipated I retired to my office to catch up on some data entry- typing numbers.

Sometimes I think a well trained monkey or robot could almost do my job.

I told one of my co-workers this. He likes coming up with songs for everything we do. For example we have a field site nicknamed "the jungle" and everytime we go there he sings "Welcome to the Jungle" by Guns and Roses. My offhand comment resulted in him jumping into a rendition of "Hey, Hey We are the Monkees" by the Monkees. 

Ironically one of my supervisors used to work for the U.S. military providing neonatal care for chimpanzees.

It all makes sense to me now. 

The Lighter Side of Work

Fundraising season is in full swing at work. Ontario Public Service Employees are actively fundraising for their United Way campaign. Some of their fundraising are definitely Fun- raising. We get very creative at OFRI including chilli cook-offs, potlucks, auctions, and even some hallway busking.

This afternoon all OPS employees at the Ontario Forest Research Institute were treated to the delightful sounds of the Great Lakes Jammers- a group of musicians from OFRI, Canadian Forest Services, Great Lakes Forestry Center and several other nearby government offices. They delighted us with a variety of folk songs including, my personal favourite, the Logdriver’s Waltz. As if the song itself wasn’t entertaining enough several researchers who had stopped by to listen and throw some cash in the guitar case broke out into a lively waltz. It was certainly interesting to see my co-workers in a different light- it is really a blessing to have a workplace where people are able to be productive and have fun at the same time.

I have included a link to the fantastic folk song- sadly I didn’t have video of the live performance but this National Film Board of Canada clip is entertaining as well. Enjoy!

Thanksgiving Pt. 1

Hello all! For my non-Canadian friends I need to tell you that this past weekend was Canadian thanksgiving. A wonderful holiday when we give thanks for all the blessings in our lives. I am a very blessed person and I had a fantastic thanksgiving so I will split my thanksgiving blog posts up into several chunks. Hurray!

Mom and I take some time to get closer.... in the kayak. And yes she is texting!

Americans celebrate thanksgiving too but Canadians like to get a headstart. That and if we waited to celebrate until the Americans did most of us would be knee deep in snow, having long forgotten the harvest. As it was, in my area, many farmers were in the midst of harvesting. The gorgeous weather combined with forecasters calling for rain soon, probably saw many farmers eating their thanksgiving turkey in the form of a sandwich on the combine. My non-cash-cropping family however was able to fully enjoy the beautiful weather and we took to the beach for some kayaking, sandcastle making, Frisbee throwing, and all around fun. I can't remember a thanksgiving where we were able to run around on the beach in our swimsuits and shorts before but we definitely did this year.

Dad and I on the lake

My older sister and brother got up to some shenanigans as you can see in the video I posted. My brother was at it too but he made me promise to not post a video of him so you'll have to take my word for it.

The weather was beautiful and the lake was very calm. Dad and I got in a good paddle and I finally got a good pic of me kayaking!

All in all it was a lovely day!

Finally a good pic of me kayaking! Isn't the water gorgeous!

Dear Holly...

Dear Holly,
You probably don't read my blog but it is good emotional release for me anyways. If you did read my blog you would have known from my previous post "Hello is Holly there.." that I frequently receive phone calls from some of your former friends/acquaintances who still have your old number. For a brief time I thought that maybe you had corrected this problem, since I hadn't received many calls for awhile. However the events of the past few days have changed this perception. In the past three days I have received five calls from people looking for you. I politely informed them that this hasn't been your number for approx a year and a half now and it is time to update their contact information. Sadly one of your more frustrated and flustered acquaintances didn't hear this admonition and called me twice in the same hour. I fear that if you and your friends don't do something about this in the near future you will continue to miss out on important connections and communication opportunities. I am sure you are feeling terribly unconnected not getting the late night drunk calls from your partying friends, and that voice that sounds like a child probably misses you terribly. So to Holly and all of her friends, and to anyone else who has possibly changed their number in the recent past I strongly suggest that you ensure all your previous contacts have your updated contact information- for your sake, theirs, and the person who now has your former number.

Sincerely,
The current owner of your former cell number

ShariAnn does an Independent Thing.

Once upon a time there was a young female scientist named ShariAnn. She set off into the world to have adventures and explore. She moved to a small city where she had a wonderful job and made many marvelous friends. She played in the river and forests and fens. Sadly her adventures were cut short when her job finished earlier than expected. Not wishing to drain all her financial resources while unemployed the sensible ShariAnn decided to move back home where her parents welcomed her with open arms. Home was nice and familiar and warm and safe but the young adventurous scientist longed for adventure. For a brief time she satiated her desire for something new by keeping herself occupied- she read books, watched tv, went for walks and got the mail. However as her siblings returned home, for similar reasons, home began to feel smaller and smaller, and she missed her friends from that far away small city. Eventually the urge to be independent and do something became to strong. Trips the the grocery store and the post office were not enough to satisfy the young scientists need for adventure. So she packed up her bags and loaded up her shiny yellow vehicle and set out on the long drive to the small city to visit her friends, because she was lonely and she missed them and she needed to do something independent. She had a lovely visit with them, talking, laughing, meeting new people, doing all the things she missed and wishing she still lived in the small city with many friends. At the end of the week she would return home to her loving parents and family, and not much would have changed but she would find it a little easier to wait patiently for her next adventure.

The End 

(for now)

This photo is from another time the young scientist did an independent thing: when she hopped in her yellow vehicle and drove to explore Lake Superior Provincial Park and enjoy the beach by herself one fine summer's day.

Mission Briefing Notes for Operation Shoo-Fly

Target:The common housefly

Known Aliases:  
Musca domestica (M.D.), 
irritating insect, 
Diptera,and 
Argh @#!$%#@4% Die!!!!!


Location: Seemingly everywhere! Targets have definitely been spotted in your area. Last seen outside, inside, in windowsills, around dirty dishes, around clean dishes, on my head, on the table, and most annoyingly buzzing around my face while I was trying to sleep.

Background Information:
 The order Diptera is thought to have originated in the Palearctic region, particularly the Middle East. The crafty suborder Cyclorrhapha has utilized the warm wet summer to amass a strong army. Now as the cold rainy fall season approaches they begin their annual assault. These obnoxious pests invade our homes undetected and may at first seem benign. 

The first sign of invasion may be the occasional window buzzer who quickly tires and dies. Previously it was thought that these window buzzers were just trying to get outside again but anyone who has tried to shoo one of these flies away understands that these flies are not just seeking escape. Recent research has revealed that these flies are just initial scouts and those seemingly senseless and endless taps against the window are actually a complicated signal language to troops on the outside. 

Further signs of invasion involve troops sneaking in through open windows and doors. The best defense at this point is vigilance and window screening. However these are only temporary stop-gap measures, these sinister invaders have an uncanny ability to find any tiny gap, crack or opening into a house. 


Full on invasion finds you brushing and shooing flies wherever you are in your house. While eating, brushing your teeth, reading, watching t.v., cleaning and yes, even sleeping you are never safe from their constant attack. The flies won't leave you alone even after being brushed aside multiple times they return to land on you/bite you over and over. As the days grow shorter and the weather gets colder the remaining flies in your house will grow large and complacent. Instead of immediately fleeing a casual shoo they require more direct flicking to leave. These "dopey" flies are fat and lazy and prefer to crawl all over your face in the wee hours of the morning. 


It is important to point out that these persistent invaders present a larger threat than simple annoyance and interruption of sleep. Our sources (wikipedia) indicate that they are capable of carrying over 100 pathogens, such as typhoid, cholera, salmonella, bacillary dysentery, tuberculosis, anthrax, ophthalmia, and parasitic worms.

Mission: 
Your mission is to be on your guard for these invaders and eliminate them if necessary. Take all necessary precautions including ensuring doors are closed behind you and windows remain sealed. Learn to identify the signs of invasion and take action immediately at the first sign of intruders. 
 

Rules of Engagement:
Use of lethal force is approved and encouraged. All targets are to be eliminated on sight. A particularly vigilant agent might even go on the offense and seek out invaders that may be in hiding. 
The threat is real and it is advised that all agents arm themselves with flyswatters, magazines, newspapers and even their bare hands if necessary. 
The public may be aware of this mission however due to the risk of infection, and the suspected body count, we ask all agents to use discretion and dispose of any enemy carcasses immediately. Approved methods of disposal are: flushing, Kleenex/toilet paper, vacuuming, and magic. 


Good Luck!

Experiment #1: Dancing in the Rain= Fun!!

So I realize my last blog post was perhaps a bit morose.
I really am not that depressed, just sometimes I need to get something off my chest.
I did that once in highschool and kind of scared one of my teachers. It was in Bible class and we were supposed to write a psalm- similar to the psalms found in the book of psalms. Whereas most of the class chose to write praise psalms and strung together a bunch of syrupy sweet Hallelujah's and thank-yous until they reached the required length; I chose to write a gut wrenching psalm of lament that was approx twice the required length. When I received my assignment back there were several comments from my teacher and a lengthy note telling me that if I ever needed to talk to someone he was there. I had no more angst than the average teenager (actually probably a little less) but I think my psalm made my teacher think I was perhaps depressed or suicidal. Ooops!

I don't want you to worry like my teacher did so I thought today I would share something more lighthearted- my most recent experiment. I decided to write it up like a pseudo lab report because.... I can. :) Enjoy!

Raincoat Test in Summer Rainstorm

Introduction: Raincoats are coats made of water repellent materials. They are frequently warn when a person has reason to believe it may rain or is already raining as a precaution against getting too wet. Alternatively they can be used by the wearer as an outer-shell layer to prevent heat loss from strong winds. Raincoats come in a variety of colours and styles. Recently this brilliant scientist purchased a fantastically bright lime green raincoat. The raincoat looks super stunning on the intelligent scientist in question however its efficacy in repelling water has yet to be determined. The following experiment seeks to correct this oversight.

Purpose: To determine the effectiveness of my new raincoat and thoroughly explore its waterproof capabilities during a summer rainstorm.

Materials: 

• raincoat (Northface, women's size large, lime green)
• torrential downpour
• barefeet
• grassy field

Procedure:

1. Look out window and observe precipitation
2. Don raincoat and exit the door
3. Run around like a crazy madwoman  jumping, dancing spinning and frolicking in the rain
4. Record results (options: have sister/bystander videotape/take a picture, use your senses, be creative)

Results: 

Fig. 1 Stunningly dry me (photo courtesy of Karina)

I found the raincoat to be most effective at keeping my upper body warm and dry. There was a small amount of moisture that came in through the cuffs, perhaps wicked in by the long sleeves of my cardigan. I found the hood remained in place nicely and had a good brim, however a strong wind might knock the hood off. The zipper was thoroughly waterproof and draftproof and I found the jacket kept me warm, but not too warm during this late summer shower. (See fig. 1)

Fig. 2 Jeans got very wet (photo courtesy of Karina)

My feet were able to enjoy the softness of the grass and the warmth of the ground. They also enjoyed splashing in puddles and wading through rivulets of water as they streamed down our washed out gravel driveway.

The raincoat failed to keep my bottom half dry and drenched skinny jeans are not comfortable. (See fig. 2)





Conclusion and Discussion: The raincoat was found to provide adequate protection from torrential rain for the upper half of the wearer's body. It did this while also being stylish and comfortable. One concern may be that when facing towards strong winds the hood may have a tendency to fall off. In this case it is recommended that the user cinches the drawstring around the hood. Another issue is that the raincoat does not provide adequate protection from torrential rain for the lower half of the body. If the user prefers to avoid a drenched lower half they should investigate further options. Water repellent rain pants similar to the raincoat do exist, however this brilliant scientist has yet to put them to the test and recommends further study in this area.